"Our actor is self-centered—ego-centric... He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine complaining of the bad generation of ministers..." — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 61
The Plan That Was a "Joke"
I remember sitting in rehab with what I thought was a foolproof plan. I wasn't just going to stay sober; I was going to revolutionize my life. My plan was simple: I’d buy a tent, head into the woods, live off the grid for a while, and eventually find a job. I thought it was brilliant.
When I presented this to my counselor, I expected a pat on the back. Instead, they looked at me and asked, "Are you serious? This is a joke." I was confused. I didn't realize then that I was watching self-will run riot. I was trying to solve a deep, internal "personality problem" with a piece of nylon and some tent stakes.
The "Why" Behind the Drink
For many of us, the bottle was just a symptom. As the book 24 Hours a Day reminds us, we often drink to escape from life. We feel lonely, inferior, or caught in an emotional conflict we can't name. Taking a "pledge" or "going on the wagon" addresses the drinking, but it doesn't touch the person inside who is still hurting. If I had gone to that tent, I would have brought the same lonely, inferior version of myself with me. The scenery changes, but the struggle remains the same.
A Message for the Family
To the family member watching a loved one struggle: understand that "willpower" isn't the missing ingredient. It is a spiritual and emotional malady. When the alcoholic tries to run the show with self-will, they aren't trying to be difficult—they are simply lost in a "personality problem" they don't yet know how to solve. The solution isn't a new plan or a new tent; it is a new way of living that requires help from outside ourselves.
Maximum Service: Turning to the Solution
Today, I don't need a tent to find peace. I’ve found that the internal noise stops when I stop trying to manage the universe. By adjusting myself to life as it is—rather than trying to force life to be what I want—the need to escape disappears. We find a common solution when we join the "WE" of the program.
Immediate Resources for Help
If you are the "new guy" or a family member in need of a way out, reach out today. You are not alone.
- A.A. Meeting Guide: Download the "Pink Chair" App to find a meeting near you right now.
- Official A.A. Literature: Visit AA.org for the Big Book and local resources.
- National Helpline (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
Unity for Recovery: Providing community connection and educational tools for a new way of life.
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